The Old lady who Swallowed a fly REPLIES             

I am the old lady who  "swallowed " the fly

People wonder why, I swallowed a fly

It was all a lie………….

And I did NOT did not die!

(nor did I swallow that icky fly) 

 We sat at the table, just Grandpa and I

I asked him to pass the marshmallow pie

He lept from his chair in the blink of an eye,

He panicked and yelped 

that I’d swallowed a fly

What FLY???!!!  WHAT FLY???!!!!

AND as you all know, once you start Grandpa Schneider

His arms start to flail,

 and his eyes get much wider

I tried to calm him and said, “sip some cider”

He then started, howling  “YOU swallowed a spider!?!”

OH MY!! OH MY!!!!

The frenzy and flapping was truly absurd

His face turned bright red, - his vision got blurred

He misunderstood the words that he heard

 I only asked “ gravy ??? To top that bean curd?”

You can easily see why he thought he heard BIRD

Oh why - Oh why?

 The next 15 minutes continued like that.

He’d fuss and he’d fume, 

and snarled like a brat

I offered him turkey; it was lean with no fat

Next thing you know, he asked

 ”where’s the cat?”

Imagine that

With my mouth full I mumbled ;

               My cheeks puffed like the hog…

For desert I suggested  a nice PECAN LOG

Then Grandpa asked if I swallowed the dog!

 Excuse ME I said, 

I am ending this NOW

It’s time for the pets

  And their own special “CHOW”

Grandpa started to sweat

And was dabbing his brow

 Then he yelped to the neighbors

 that I’d swallowed a COW!!!

I hollered COME BACK!,

Don’t you want the last COURSE??

Then WE all heard him GASP ….

"Now SHE swallowed a HORSE!"

 So the next time he tells it

with such vigor and force,

 Just delight in the story

but consider the source. 

© 2011